A Dragon's Guide to Hoarding
by StBridget
Summary: Steffie is a true dragon-she hoards. Steve's had enough. AU Dragon!Danny verse. McDanno established. Ch.2 added
1. Chapter 1

**Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.  
**

 **A/N: Dedicated to bswindle20, who wanted a story where Steffie is learning to hoard. Hope you like it!**

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Daddy, where are my crayons?" Matt McGarrett-Williams asked his father, Steve McGarrett.

Steve sighed. "I don't know, but I bet I can guess." He went upstairs to the nursery. His daughter, Stephanie Williams-McGarrett, was curled up in her playpen in dragon form, so her crib was unoccupied. Steve lifted up the mattress and retrieved Matt's crayons, along with six pencils, five barrettes (both hers and his husband Danny Williams' daughter Grace's), four spoons, three seashells, two toothbrushes, and Danny's car keys (and Danny always accused Steve of taking them). Steve also removed most of the dozen or so stuffed animals that had accumulated in Steffie's crib, although he suspected Matt had helped with those.

Steve handed Matt his crayons and went to take Danny his keys. He found his husband in their bedroom reading. Wordlessly, he handed over the keys.

Danny took them. "Steffie?" he asked.

"Uh-huh." Steve showed Danny the rest of his recovered items. "This is the third time this week I've cleaned out her crib. I don't know how she does it."

"She's a dragon," Danny said matter-of-factly.

"So's Matt," Steve rejoined. "So am I. We don't hoard."

"That's because you're weird." Danny's hands started waving, as they always did when he got worked up. "I tell you, it's unnatural. Dragons were meant to hoard. Purple dragons, blue dragons, all those are outliers. Just ask the red and the green and the golden dragons. Hoarding is what we _do_."

Steve chose not to comment. "Was Grace this bad?"

"Oh, yeah," Danny said. "Drove Rachel nuts."

"I don't know how Steffie does it," Steve said. "She can barely crawl."

"Yeah, but she gets around just fine as a dragon," Danny pointed out.

"But how does she grasp it all?"

Danny shrugged. "I don't know. Claws, teeth, something."

Steve was impressed that Steffie could carry something in her mouth without crushing it. Those jaws were _strong_. Still. . ."Danny, she hoards food. Usually chewed."

Danny had to admit that was pretty gross. "I'll see if I can convince her not to do that at least."

"And maybe you can get her to stop the shoplifting?" Steve pleaded. "I'm afraid we're going to get arrested."

It was true. They'd been stopped more than once when they'd set off the alarms leaving the store, and they typically found candy bars hiding in Steffie's stroller after they'd been to the grocery store (her sweet tooth was almost as bad as Danny's). They had to keep her well away from art supplies. The jar of glitter she'd taken and later crushed had taken _days_ to clean up.

"At least she's mostly stopped taking merchandise," Danny pointed out.

That was true. Now she largely went for the hooks used for hanging bags of candy, purses, etc. And hangars. And the little price holders. They had enough of all those to open their own retail outlet.

"This has got to stop," Steve said.

"Steve, she's a dragon. It's never going to stop."

It was true. Grace had enough rhinestone jewelry to fill a vault, and Danny's desk served as Five-0's personal supply closet. And then there were the coins. . .They overflowed Danny's desk and the coffee table at home and were enough to pay for most of the pizza they ordered.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're proud of her," Steve said.

"Of course I am! She's a true dragon!"

"Just try and get it under control, okay?"

"Sure, babe," Danny agreed. "Welcome to the joys of having a baby dragon."

Steve sighed. Joys, indeed. Still hoarding and all, he wouldn't trade his dragon family for the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**bswindle20 wanted to see Steffie learn to hoard the right things. She wanted Danny to teach her, but I just couldn't see that. So this is what you get. :)  
**

Danny, true to his word, did, at least, manage to get Steffie to quit hiding already chewed food in her mattress. For the rest, though, he was pretty much hopeless. The next time they were at the grocery store, Steve caught Steffie snag a candy bar out of the corner of his eye. He waited for Danny to say something, but his husband was quiet. Steve decided to give Danny the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he hadn't noticed.

"Steffie," Steve said, "put it back."

She burbled innocently, as if to say "Who, me?"

Steve looked meaningfully at Danny. Danny sighed and took the candy bar, putting it in his own basket. "Danny!" Steve chided.

"What?" Danny asked. "You said you didn't want her shoplifting. It's not shoplifting if we pay for it."

"I said," Steve said clearly, "that I didn't want her hoarding. You promised to help."

"It's just a candy bar," Danny said. "What harm is it going to do?"

"Danny, do you know how many candy bars we have at home?"

Danny thought a second, clearly doing the math in his head. Golden dragons were math whizzes as well as hoarders, and Steve knew he'd get a precise count. "Twenty-two. No, wait, I ate one this morning, so 21. Plus this one, so that brings us back up to 22. Unless you count the peppermint patties in the fridge, in which case. . ."

Steve cut him off. "Danny, what do we need with 22 candy bars?"

"You never know when you're going to crave one," Danny defended himself.

" _Twenty-two_ , Danny! _Nobody_ needs 22 candy bars! And don't even get me started on all the other junk we have!"

Danny looked hurt but put the candy bar back. Steve took a deep breath and apologize. "Sorry, babe, didn't mean to yell at you."

"I know," Danny said, "But we can't help it. It's just what we _do_."

Steve hugged him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "I know. It just gets a little out of control sometimes."

"Sorry," Danny mumbled into Steve's chest.

Steve kissed the top of his head again. "It's okay."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After that, Steve decided to take matters into his own hands. Danny warned him about trying to get Steffie to stop completely, so Steve decided to give her something it was okay to hoard. He bought a bunch of colored stones at the craft store—they were shiny, and Steffie absolutely loved them (so did Grace, actually, but Steve threatened her with bodily harm if she touched them (okay, he didn't go that far, but he did get his point across). Every time Steve caught Steffie taking something, she shouldn't he gave her a stone instead. Unfortunately, that led her to taking things just to get a stone. Steve decided to rethink his plan.

Steve decided on a two-pronged approach. First, he bought a large box shaped like a treasure chest. He let Steffie and Grace decorate it with fake gems, and he put it in the nursery. Everytime she put something in the box instead of in the mattress, she got a stone.

The next task was to stop Steffie from collecting things he didn't want her to. Steve decided Danny was probably right that she was going to hoard some things, so he decided to concentrate on things he really didn't want her to hoard—Matt's crayons, Grace's school books (and Steve was impressed that a dragon the size of a small house cat could lug some of those texts all the way upstairs), Danny's car keys, the silverware, and so on. Every day her treasure chest was clear of other people's stuff, Steffie got a stone.

After quite a few weeks of this, Steffie's treasure chest passed inspection for a whole week. Steve decided that deserved an extra special reward. Danny suggested a sparkly bead necklace—Steffie had shown quite an affinity for Grace's collection; that was one of the most frequent things Steve had to remove from her chest. Steve was afraid she'd swallow the beads and choke, but Danny assured him dragon's didn't destroy the things they hoarded. Steve had to admit he hadn't seen any sign of that—except for the occasional tooth marks from carrying them, the things he found were in pristine condition—so he decided it was probably alright.

Steve, Danny, and Steffie went out to the local beading store. In addition to loose beads, they had a collection of bead necklaces. The three of them stood in front of the display. Steve and Danny held up various necklaces for Steffie's inspection, but she didn't seem interested in any of them. Finally, Danny held up a multi-colored necklace in shades of pink and purple. Steffie burbled happily and pointed at it. They headed to check out. As they turned, Steve caught something out of the corner of his eye. He looked closely at Steffie. She had the price tag holder clutched in her hands. Steve just sighed.


End file.
